If It Does Happen
If you are getting unsolicited e-mail or other forms of communication from someone you
don't know or have no contact with, your best defense is to just ignore it. If
the harasser doesn't have much of a personal image to latch onto, they may detach and go
on to someone else. But don't let it go too far hoping the person will give
up. Take precautions now in case it gets ugly later.
1. Archive Every Piece of Communication Relating to the Situation:
Save every piece of communication you get from this person. Save all of the
e-mail header information you can if it is an e-mail or newsgroup posting. If
you are getting chat requests, ICQ or IRC messages, or any other type of communication,
take a screenshot, print it out, and write notes on it. Send copies of each
harassing communication to your postmaster and the harasser's provider.
Don't forget to save communications to postmasters, providers, system administrators,
police, supervisors at work, and security specialists.
2. Start a Log
In addition to your archive of communications, start a log that explains the situation in
more detail. Document how the harassment is affecting your life, and document what steps
you're taking to stop it.
3. Tell Your Harasser To Cease and Desist
It is important that you contact your harasser directly telling him or her in simple,
strong, and formal terms to stop contacting you. You must state that the
communications are unwanted and inappropriate and that you will take further action if it
does not stop. Don't worry about whether your letter sounds too harsh--make sure it's
professional and to the point. CC: your postmaster and your harasser's. Archive the
mail you have sent, and note that you sent it in your log.
After you send this mail, your communication to this person must stop. Any further
communication can
feed the situation. The harasser's behavior will be rewarded by your attention, so it will
continue. Also, if the case goes to court, your harasser can report that the
communication was going both ways, and it could damage your case. It is best to keep quiet
no matter how tempted you are to defend yourself. It is important that you
tell your friends not to communicate with the harasser in your defense for the same
reasons.
4. Tell the Right People
If this person makes contact with you via video
conferencing, notify the owners or reflector monitors (refmons) of the reflector sites you
frequent. The refmons can assist you and watch for any inappropriate behavior.
They may even remove him from the reflector and/or ban him. There is a
network of refmons out there and word can be passed on about harassment from a particular
person.
Report the situation to your system administrator(s), your friends, family, and coworkers.
Tell your supervisor and work security personnel. Tell your apartment
building's security people. Report the situation to your local police. The FBI will
also take down a complaint, and they'll follow up on it if they
have the manpower.
5. Take Police Action
Many states have modified their stalking laws to include electronic communications.
Many states will let you file for a restraining order in cases like this, and
the courts will often let you ask that your harasser pay for any filing fees. You'll need
the person's address if you want to serve them with a restraining order or press
charges against them. The police can get this information from the harasser's postmaster
if they need to.
6. Protect Your Online Space
Change your password frequently. Pay attention to your files, directories, and
last logout information. Monitor information about yourself on the Net with Alta
Vista and other search engines. You might want
to lay low for a while if the person is haunting you in Usenet or on IRC.
7. Protect your offline space.
Take all the precautions you would if an old boyfriend was acting crazy, especially if you
think the person can find you at home or at work.
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